Tonight I Wanna Cry
by Rokuness
Summary: [NEWish] Reno can barely hold his composure until he reaches the santity of Rude's apartment and he brakes down. The love of his life is gone...RenoxRude hints. Song is Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban


Now I should go strait to hell for this but I'm hoping I'll be cut a break since it's incredibly short (boo) and I wrote it about 2 years ago. I don't own the Turks or Cloud or anyone in FFAC cause they belong to SquareEnix. Please R&R!!!!  
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**Tonight I Wanna Cry**

He couldn't stand it anymore. The day was bright and beautiful although it shouldn't be this way. It should be dark and depressing, raining even but it was beautiful. The sun was shining brightly and birds were singing. It shouldn't be this way.

_Alone in this house again tonight  
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine  
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me  
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me  
I'll never get over you walkin' away  
_

Rufus held his composure as the priest had the coffin lowered. It seemed to take forever as he listened to the distant sounds of the birds.

No one dared to speak. Reno couldn't hold back his tears and cried lightly while Rude held his shoulders tightly and Elena leaned onto Tseng while keeping her composure. Tifa shivered as Barrett stroked her hair with Marlene clinging to his arm. The others stood around and watched Reno grips Rude's shirt as sanctity.

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry  
_

No one wanted to move before Reno. Reno's hand slid along the edge of the tombstone. He bit his bottom lip and read the name over and over.

Cloud Strife.

His Cloud was gone.

His beloved Cloud was gone.

_Would it help if I turned a sad song on  
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone  
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters  
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better  
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way_

Reno fell to his knees and punched the ground. Why did it have to be Cloud of all people? Why his Cloud?

Rude wrapped his arms around the redhead Turk and lifted him up and walked him to the car. Reno clutched his stomach while gasping for air.

"Cloud…" Reno muttered, finally getting into the passenger side of the car.

_  
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The ride back to Rude's apartment was silent. Reno stared into his lap the entire time while Rude drove home as fast as he could. When they arrived, Rude was the first out, walking over to the other side and pulling Reno out. They made their way to the elevator as Rude's phone began to ring. He pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. It was Tseng.

"Yes?" Rude answered. Reno leaned against the wall of the elevator while Rude stood outside. He covered the mouth of the phone and turned back to Reno. "Go on up, I'll be there in a second."

Reno nodded and pushed the button on the elevator and watched Rude turn away as the doors closed. His one comfort was leaving him for a simple phone conversation.

"Cloud…" Reno clutched his stomach again and slipped to the floor. The tears came out heavily as he struggled to keep himself standing.

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry_

The elevator stopped and Reno rushed out, pushing past the crowd waiting to get on. He fell against the door to Rude's apartment and put his key in and turned, pushing the door open and slamming it shut behind him. He collapsed on the couch and grabbed the nearest pillow and buried his face into it.

"Why? Why did you have to take my Cloud?" Reno screamed into the pillow. He pushed himself up and walked over to the fridge, taking a bottle of beer from it and walking back to the couch. He popped the top off and chugged it all in one try.

He moved back to the fridge and grabbed three more bottles and walked over to the couch and popped the top of each of them. He let the smoothing sensation of the alcohol slid down his throat. He smiled and let the tears escape his eyes and fall onto his lap. He chugged the other bottles down quickly as Rude entered the apartment and rushed to Reno's side.

"I didn't want this to happen, Rude…" He muttered softly. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was mad…I never meant those things…He didn't have to get killed…" Rude wrapped his arms around the redhead and shook his head.

"None of this is your fault, Reno…Even if you two hadn't fought, you could have been on Fenrir with him and he wouldn't want you in any danger. He certainly wouldn't want you to cry over him. He loved you…" Rude squeezed Reno's shoulders tightly and held him close.

"I love him too…I miss him…" Reno pulled himself onto Rude's chest and buried his face in it. "He gave me a purpose…"

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry_

--End--

A/N: I know, I know, I shouldn't have killed Cloud but it suit this and I'm addicted to RenoxCloud fics so I wanted to do this…I wanted to cry while writing this. Please please please R&R!!!!!


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